Mike Trout is very fast.

Tonight’s recap is not about Matt Cain. The Horse did what he did, simultaneously falling victim to the post-NoNo curse and sticking with it in the Matt Cain Way.

No, tonight’s wrap should touch on a few other subjects.

First of all, Ryan Theriot. After back-to-back 3-hit days (with an off-day in between), he’s really played an instrumental part in the Giants’ surprisingly not-terrible offense. Considering everything that went wrong in May, particularly the struggles to find a 2-hole hitter and efforts to fill Sandoval’s tremendously large shoes, Melky’s ridiculous May carried the team. Now that Melky has come down to Earth, the Giants could have bottomed out if not for Theriot.

Second of all, Melky Cabrera! While Melky may not be putting up Ruthian numbers in June, he’s still on pace for 233 hits and hitting well above .300 with some power. If this is the real Melky, it’s still fantastic.

Brandon Watch 2012

Crawford: Good defense today, with a clutch hit in the second. This is exactly the Brandon Crawford I a) would love to see and b) could reasonably expect.

Belt: Won the first-base sweepstakes for today, with two hits and two walks in four PAs. Don’t look now, but his slash line is up to .261/.379/.428, which is pretty darn respectable. Julian at GiantsNirvana had this article earlier today about Belt’s above-average production this year, particularly compared to the other mediocre NL first basemen. A little more extra-base power would be nice, but if you honestly believe (like me) that the power will come as he gets more ABs, it’s nice to see his plate discipline doesn’t slump. Can’t complain about a 7-game hitting streak.

Stats of the Day:

8: Consecutive wins by Matt Cain. It wouldn’t matter except that Matt Cain.

3: Steals by Mike Trout today.

1: Steals by Ryan Theriot today. Theriot has 7 steals this year. When did that happen?

5: Shaky innings by Matt Cain

4: Perfect innings by the Giants bullpen

Bonus Stat of the Day:

1: Steals by Mike Trout if Ryan Theriot had been able to hold onto the damn ball.

I almost never watch games live, because of one thing or another. Tonight, for example, I had plans until about 9 pm, and started watching the game at about a quarter to ten. Usually my friends are pretty good about not giving anything away, because they know my crazy schedule and how much of a premium I put on watching games without knowing the final score. Today, I had three messages from friends waiting for me before I turned on the game. I did my best to shut myself away from the world, but I knew that something exciting was going to happen.

And let me tell you, knowing it’s gonna happen doesn’t diminish it in the slightest.

Matt Cain is unbelievable. He’s been my favorite Giant for years, even before he became the uncontested de facto Ace this year with Tim Lincecum’s crash and burn. His whole career he’s been the unheralded star of the franchise. He was here before Timmy, and he’ll probably be here after Timmy’s gone. He’s the ultimate captain: he’s not flashy, he’s not a loudmouth. When the team loses, he blames himself. When the team wins, he credits his teammates. Even tonight, after pitching the 22nd perfect game in Major League Baseball history, the first thing he talked about were the amazing defensive plays by his outfielders. And he’s got a mean takeout slide to break up double plays.

When the contract negotiations came to a head during the offseason, my brain and my heart were in conflict. My brain told me that there was a certain level, a specific dollar figure, where Cain was simply not worth it anymore. But my heart told me that there was no such thing. Cain needed to stay. I would’ve set up a lemonade stand on the corner of 2nd and King if it would’ve helped earn money to keep him. I would’ve commissioned an artist to design a caricature of Matt Cain to show him how silly he would look in pinstripes. He needed to stay. I love the Bumgarner contract, but I haven’t been as ecstatic about a contract as I was when Cain got his deal.

And he got a hit. Not bad for a guy who is 2 games above .500 for his career.

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In Brian Wilson’s absence, Tim Lincecum has taken it upon himself to make Giants baseball torturous once again. Remember, Torture doesn’t mean bad. Torture means just good enough to hang onto your hopes and your dreams and feel like there’s a reason to wake up each morning. Torture is good pitching and bad hitting, or good hitting and bad pitching, or stranding baserunner after baserunner when your team trails by a run. Losing 10-0 isn’t torture, it’s just not fun.

No, this is torture:

After blowing three pitches past Ian Kinsler and getting Elvis Andrus to ground out, Lincecum walked the bases loaded. He battled well with Josh Hamilton and David Murphy, but when it came to the payoff pitch, it seemed like he had no idea where it was going.

And then in the second inning, he struck out the side on 13 pitches.

It’s official, folks. Tim Lincecum isn’t broken. He’s turned into Jonathan Sanchez.

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