Category Archives: Offseason Moves

The Men Who Weren’t Buster

On May 25, 2011, I left work just after 5 pm, like usual. I walked a few blocks to the gym, did my workout, showered, and came home. I got home just after 8, and ate my dinner while I turned on the night’s Giants game. I had DVRed the game, and started watching on delay. As usual, I skipped through commercials, doing my best to avoid Facebook, Twitter, and all other social media  that might tip off the final score.

At 11:20 pm, the game on my DVR was in the bottom of the ninth inning. Aubrey Huff lined a single to left-center, scoring Pat Burrell and Freddy Sanchez and tying the game. My phone rang. Thomas Todd, my friend and co-host, was watching the game live. He was almost in tears.

“Oh hey,” I said. “Can I call you back in a few minutes? The game’s almost over.”

“We have to talk,” he choked out. “Call me as soon as you finish.”

Ten minutes later I watched Scott Cousins throw his full weight into Buster Posey’s right shoulder, knocking Posey’s entire weight back onto his left knee and ankle, snapping his fibula and rupturing tendons in his ankle. Posey’s mask flew off from the impact as he bounced back onto his stomach, clawing at the dirt as he was swarmed by trainers.

I called Thomas.

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I Didn’t Want Carlos Beltran Anyway

When talking about this year’s offseason, most of what the Giants did and didn’t do is fairly easy to defend, given the right mindset and enough cheap booze. Still, while most of the big-name free-agent sluggers ended up with contracts either of staggering length or shocking amounts of money, it’s hard to understand how the market for Carlos Beltran disappeared as quickly as it did. But even though the Giants could have afforded him, I didn’t want Carlos Beltran.

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Dodging The Manny Bullet

$500,000 doesn’t buy you much in baseball. A few bats, a few balls, an Ishikawa or two. But that’s what 39-year-old former batting champ, present suspension server, and future Hall of Famer Manny Ramirez signed for with the Oakland A’s. Why did the A’s do this? Because when your $36 million mail-order bride asks for a boob job, you give it to her. And if The Dreaded One can sniff his 2010 production, the A’s can put up with his hijinks. But let’s look at every non-Athletic team and figure out why no one wanted Manny to Manny all over their team.

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